“Becoming”: Forward Looking Back

The weekend is here and we’ve  enjoyed a very contemplative week of reflecting upon our word. How we use them, which terms to select, exploring the attitudes behind forming our vocabularies, remaining focused with our expressions and living in a state of calm as we accomplish it all.

So how do we build our momentum of always forward and upward? By taking a step back. 

  • “Looking back on my journey up until now helps me to see the next steps of my how.”

I encourage you today to take some time and review. Take a look at some of the highlights below, or revisit the earlier posts from this week for the full discussions. Allow your feelings to emerge. As you spend time in reflection, clarity will find you. These insights will assist you in knowing how to move forward on your path to “Becoming”.

Words have meaning; and those meanings combined with the tone and the intent behind them, become power. Like we discussed when making affirmations you are asserting who you are, what you are “Becoming” and the fact that no one (or anything) will stop you or deny you. 

Building upon that, this week’s discussion began with our responsibility to “Boldly Declare”.

So why should you be boldly declaring? It’s more like why shouldn’t you. Now that you have identified who you are, plus when you want to be, it’s time to put things into action. What better way than by courageously communicating your intentions.

Standing up to any fears or doubts, ready to overcome any objections or obstacles asserting your truth aligns your intentions with your thoughts and vocalizing them can catapult your forward in making your goal a reality.

Choose your words…“Carefully”… is how Grandma always finished that thought. And yes it still is great advice today. Choosing your words carefully can lead you to great success, while not guarding your vocabulary can have the opposite effect ensuring your failure.

Words have meaning directly impacting actions and outcomes. Whether you are involved in friendly conversation, business discussions, arguments, debates, or talking to yourself, the words you opt to use can either give or take away power from you, your situation and your desired outcomes. 

Quite literally choosing the proper expression can change your life or keep you in the wilderness for another 40 years. Words elicit not only an intellectual component, by whether or not you and those you are communicating with share the same definition, they also often first evoke an emotional response. Whether that’s positive or negative is up to you.

While the late US Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia affirmed:

“Words have meaning. And their meaning doesn’t change.”

They certainty can change and do,  if there is not a common definition. Even then the word can be further enhanced or exacerbated by tone, volume or even in writing as to how they are expressed. Let’s consider this word:

Fire

Fire

Fire!

Fire

Fire

Fire!

Fire!

FIRE !!!!!!!!!!

The same four letters. Pronounced in the same way and even in print you feel the difference. Therefore you can draw different meanings, memories and elicit varied responses to motivate, manage or manipulate others.

This is even true when it comes to self-talk. As we’ve discussed before that inner dialogue, the never ending conversion you have with yourself ( either inside your head or at times aloud) has a tremendous impact on your self-esteem, value as well as your  accomplishments and / or failures.

Instead of saying “I feel like _ _ _ _” . 

Choose to say “My health is improving”.

Do not bring negativity into your thoughts, or you will find it in your outcomes. And that’s something not very “Becoming”.

Winston Churchill

What does it mean to speak confidently? Like most aspects of our shared path of “Becoming”, that can have uniquely different interpretations. 

Considering the influence of the words we choose to use, we need to be firm in our beliefs that those conveyances should always be considered with compassion, dignity and respect.

Yet still they should be firm, concise and declare your intentions.  The way to balance humility and pride is through confidence. Confidently being humble in the knowledge we can achieve our goals, which we can be proud of, without infringing upon anyone else’s dignity nor giving away our self respect. 

Speaking with confidence means we must speak with words that strike a positive response chord. Whether the words we “speak” are spoken or written, they should still be able to enlighten, uplift, inspire with enthusiasm, encouragement and kindness, while still empowering ourselves. 

Remaining in a moment of  mindfulness, it helps to accentuate our words, giving them more power and authority.  Tone is especially significant here, hopefully we can come to a place where we automatically default to the positive; declaring with compassion, dignity and respect. 

Understanding now that a proper conveyance of our expression, includes aligning words, inflection and tone, here are my 6 Steps for Speaking Confidently

  1. Grammar Grants Grace

Even when using your speaking voice, punctuation is important. Do not sound questioning, voice yourself convincingly. Watch that your inflection is not rising too high at the end of the sentence that it sounds like you are questioning rather than proclaiming. There is a big difference between  this ‘!” and that “?”. Don’t be hesitant it causes those who are listening to question you, your knowledge or your beliefs. 

  1. Slow Down It Aids Digestion

You’re not in a race. Speak slowly, at times deliberately to get your point across. Just like eating, doing so purposefully will allow your audience to digest what you are trying to feed them.

By the way researchers say that around 188 words per minute is the proper rate of speech. That allows for people to feel like you’re having a one on one conversion over lunch; even if you’re talking to 300 people in a church hall or nearly 800,000 on the Internet. 

  1. Gestures Generate 

Use your hands to express yourself more effectively. Body language can accentuate or destroy your message. Be cognisant of your posture. Stand up tall, dress comfortably. convey warmth and build momentum that is both forward and upward.

Studies show using your hands effectively results in the audience receiving you are more excited about and more knowledgeable in the content of your message. Conversely, if you keep touching your hair, are smoothing or stretching your clothing, in addition to being distracting,  you are perceived as lacking confidence. 

  1. Stay Hydrated

It’s one of the areas that medical experts continue to agree about, hydration is key to balance and healing in our lives. Your body literally depends on water to survive. Every cell, tissue, and organ in your body needs proper hydration  to work properly. This can mean more than just water, so embrace it even for days when you’re not planning on being so vocal.  

When you are, studies  have found positive effects for your vocal cords. Keeping those muscles cool and moist does enhance the overall sound of your voice.

  1. Gratitude As Your Attitude

When a speaker is expressing gratitude, there is a direct link to how their confidence is perceived. Listeners are more trusting, receptive and likely to take a sympathetic action in reaction to your request.  When you come across as grateful and truly appreciative it aids in presenting a positive message that everything is alright and will only get better. The best way to be viewed as gracious is to live in an attitude of gratitude. 

  1. Smile!

Smiling makes your voice more pleasant to the ear. Try it. Say something with a scowl on your face, and then say the same words, while smiling. See, you can hear a completely different tone.  Also to the eyes, a smile boosts confidence . You will be perceived as friendly, approachable, and trustworthy.  

Have you ever bought a car from a scowling, depressed salesperson? If so, why?

Smile and you’ll close the deal.

Words have meaning directly impacting actions and outcomes. And those actions can definitely affect how re words are either accepted or rejected. If you continually say things, and then don’t back them up, or brag about beliefs and then do not live them, those consistencies of inconsistencies will trump truth every time.

So what does she mean by “Live What You Say”?

I’m trying to convey that old expression: “Walk your talk”.

That not only should someone do as they say, but that we also must accept personal responsibility for keeping our words and actions in alignment. Balancing ourselves with clarity and truth in our statements and works. 

Some may be more familiar with the form of the phrase “talk the talk, walk the walk”. Still it is defined as a person should support what they say, not just with words, but also through action.

Then let’s talk a little about how we start to or correct our path to “Live What You Say” as we continue on our shared journey of “Becoming”.

We already acknowledge that words are important because they have meaning. Those meanings are amplified and given power by the actions we take, or empower others to do so. So let’s begin at the beginning, where did the words come from? Our thoughts, attitudes and beliefs. 

In order to properly work our A.B.B.s ( Always Be Becoming), it all starts with focusing on and accentuating upon the positive. Surround yourself with positivity. Use your affirmations. Expand upon them. Express a positive attitude in your appearance, maybe you have clothes emblazoned with cheerful, forward-looking, empowered  messages; wear them. It all helps to remind your mind where it should reside.

Pay Attention To Your Thoughts: 

We all are familiar with the quote, “cogito, ergo sum”. Not ringing a bell? Well that’s probably because most of us don’t speak Latin and have probably heard Rene Descrtes (French Philosopher) words translated as  “I think, therefore I am”.

Pay attention to what you’re thinking and how you are embracing or denying those images to yourself.Ask yourself if this belief is true?  Would you say it to a friend? If not, then don’t say it to yourself.Which leads us to…

Develop Positive Self Talk :

Those endless conversions that go on inside of you, and sometimes aloud when you think you’re alone are the starting line. How you talk to yourself can either help you move on or keep you bogged down.

One technique to improve your internal dialogue is to create a reassuring, Rraffirming Mantra.

Instead of limiting yourself by thinking things like “Why me? Why did this happen to me!” Declare positive energy. Try something like,  “I am so fortunate to be “Becoming”. Finding this new positive path in life is good for me.”

Speak your truth:

Find your voice. Use your words. Express yourself. Do not limit yourself. The truth will set you free.To live an empowered life open yourself to a “Becoming”.

Be purposeful in living for great expectations, realizations and continued growth. Empowerment means that you are stronger, bolder, more secure. Better able to deal with those distractions, circumstances and moments of stress. Deciding to empower yourself allows for you to make superior decisions, including having the conscious  determination to be “Becoming”. By that action you are committing to continue evolving to the next higher level.

Yes you will still encounter delays, obstacles and troubles. However accepting the responsibility for your own empowerment, by focusing on who you are and where you want to be, allows for you to live a life that is truly authentic, more rewarding and of significance. 

And if you encounter resistance, hold yourself with Grace. Haters will always hate. Gossips will run their mouths and the fearful will try to scare you. Hold your head high, shoulders back and nurture yourself in your new empowered confidence and in who you are “Becoming Today”.

Affirming your “Becoming”, quickens your path. – Rochelle Jeanette

Remaining calm, at rest, peaceful, in a balanced state is receptive to learning, growing, changing and most of all “Becoming”. During a recent time of peaceful reflection and being at rest, I was led into a study of what it means to live C.A.L.M.

It certainly was a tranquil repose of solitude, when I mediated upon enjoying the moment. Seizing the present I achieved a mindfulness that took me within thinking, contemplating, meditating and praying and then repeating it all again ( and several more times again).  It was in this introspective instance that the following acronyms kept filling my mind as well as my journal page. 

See if you can find a common thread in this stream of consciousness:

C. Contemplative 

A. Analytical

L. Loving

M. Mind

Centered

At rest

Loving

Meditative

Committed

Anticipating

Loving

Motivated

Caring

Authentic

Loving

Meek

Carefree

Actualized

Loving

Me

Correct

Aways 

Loving

Messiah

Did you recognize the connection? Calm comes from a place of love. Being loving is a key component on our shared paths of “Becoming”

Photo by Gabby K on Pexels.com

Remaining calm, at rest, peaceful, in a balanced state and doing so with an open, kind, loving heart results in a gentile spirit. One that is receptive to learning, growing, changing and most of all “Becoming”.

I hope you choose to remain calm, stay safe, and have a loving Valentine’s Day weekend, whatever that means and or entails for you. 

Remind yourself daily, that God loves you and joy will follow. Then take that joyful spirit, embrace it, multiply it, expand it’s circle and release it in your own words. For your words are the best expressions of who you are truly  “Becoming Today.”

Monday will be here sooner than you think and then quickly we’ll delve into our next step of this shared journey. Until then I’m focused on staying warm and preparing for another enlightening week ahead.

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