“Becoming”: Free Yourself

It really is  one of those topics that is perfect for when? Since there is no time like the present; then in this edition of “Becoming Today” we’ll talk about freeing ourselves.

Finding freedom, from burdens, limitations, false beliefs and freeing ourselves to be “Becoming”.

Finding the freedom to renew, rejuvenate and revitalize yourself begins with an understanding of all that being free entails.

But freedom, and definitely the finding of it, can be somewhat difficult, as there are some any different views on what it actually entails:

Plus I’ll add one more, not to confuse you but hopefully inspire you to open yourself up to what freedom truly means both to you and for you. This other view was eloquently pronounced by the wordsmith Kris Kristofferson, as he intoned, “Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose…” and further warbled, “Nothin’ ain’t worth nothin’, but it’s free…”

Food for thought, so while you digest all of the above and begin to process your own defining understanding of freedom, this allows for me to be free to share a musical interlude… 

Feeling good was easy, when Kris sang the blues, enlightening us along our paths to “Becoming”.

Now that we’ve grasped what freedom and being free means to us on our intensely personal level, we can discuss why it is so important to be freeing ourselves. 

Here are my 8 Steps to Freedom:

  1. Check and Protect your Self Esteem

Your self-worth has everything to do with the ability to free yourself. Challenge your negative thinking.Be aware that long-held thoughts and beliefs can feel normal and factual, even though they are not. Often these false perceptions are just opinions devoid of any truth.  Then make sure you are not getting involved in patterns of self delusion or accepting falsehoods as the truth.

Develop positive self talk. Those endless conversions that go on inside of you, and sometimes aloud when you think you’re alone are the starting line. How you talk to yourself can either help you move on or keep you bogged down.Instead of limiting yourself by thinking things like “Why me? Why did this happen to me!” Declare positive energy. Try something like,  “I am so fortunate to be “Becoming”. Finding this new positive path in life is good for me.”

Take Ownership of Your Thoughts. Rather than being overwhelmed by negativity, acknowledge its presence. Accept it, then shoes to empower yourself. Look at the reality and declare it will be no more. Work, take action thoughts or feelings to be “Becoming”.

Use positive affirmations. These simple, positive statements declare your specific goals as already behind achieved, and they are very powerful tools. Tools of focus, strength and clarity. That’s the reason why we just spent an entire week on this step along the path of “Becoming”. 

Words have meaning; and those meanings combined with the tone and the intent behind them, become power. In making affirmations you are asserting who you are, what you are “Becoming” and the fact that no one (or anything) will stop you or deny you. 

  1. Live Authentically and Expectantly 

Always be expecting, and expecting nothing less than the best. Earlier I shared the results of a 16-day contemplation, I did for determining the authenticity of the life I am living. You can find it in the archives from January 11th, 20/20 + 1. Fornow, here are some highlights:

 Let your inner light be your guide. Connect with the Spirit through quiet reflection, meditation or prayer. Seek the wisdom of your heart-center when you are faced with important choices and decisions.

Be your highest self. Remember who you are intended to be.

Let go of habits, routines and people that no longer serve you. Release guilt and anxiety. Surround yourself with those who love you, believe in you, and only want the best for you.

Speak your truth. Find your voice. Use your words. Express yourself. Do not limit yourself. The truth will set you free.

Learn to trust your intuition.  Follow your heart, your spirit and the mind will follow. I knew for decades, those hunches were right. Plus when I did listen I was either very successful or well protected, whatever the need of the moment was. At the same time though, society would try to mock “women’s intuition”. Well you know what? “They” only attack what they fear.

Recognize connections. There is an invisible web of connection between people, events and even the places in your life. This is how God nudges and guides you towards your destiny.I know and have given testimony many times, in many ways as to how I have been led throughout my life. I only ask that it continues and truly it is. 

Live courageously. What would you do if you were not afraid? Take risks. Step out of your comfort zone. Be open to new experiences. Now by taking risks I’m not talking about jumping out of helicopters (though I have), I’m not talking about putting yourself in danger ( though I have) , nor am I suggesting ignoring valid facts and putting yourself deep in a hole ( though I have). I’m talking about trying something new. Maybe it’s making a decision. Like stepping outside of your self imposed box.  What happens when you make a decision, it either works or it doesn’t. Go ahead I dare you to, just like I did myself!

Celebrate Life.  Live it. Feel it. Be it. Honor yourself by living every day to the fullest. That is what I am “Becoming”. A liver of life. A lover of life. Every moment of every day I am grateful that I have been granted the abilities, understanding and gifts to live a truly authentic life.

It was only through conquering my fears and doubts, accepting help and challenges plus surrendering all that I could that I realized I am now and will continue to by living my truly authentic life. It’s all part of “Becoming” and has delivered me to a place where I can finally honestly, boldly proclaim:

“I love Life. I love the Lord. I love myself”.

Photo by RODNAE Productions on Pexels.com
  1. Empower Yourself and Learning to Say “NO”

Dive into your strength. You were intended to be joyful, successful and confident.  You’re only limited by your own thoughts. Create a shift in your thinking;  empower yourself to live the life you want. Ask for ( and receive) the support of your higher power. Can we get another Amen! Here? I ask ceaselessly and it is granted.

Accept Yourself. Embrace the ability to unconditionally love all aspects of who you are. Both the positive and negative.Do not become overly critical.  It all starts with the proper attitude.        

Accept Personal Responsibility.  In order to fully accept your reality, you must take ownership of any role you may have played, good or bad, in leading you to where you are.  When you do, then you can work on decisions for the next steps. Look at your mistakes not as failures but as learning opportunities. Rely on the power within for the strength to co-create your reality.

Accept  Ownership. Own all of it. Not just the challenges but also your strengths and success. Taking ownership of all your outcomes can teach you to do better, and that overcoming leads to a learning moment.

Accept Power Over Your Fears. Do not let fear rule. Fears of what others think of you, fear of making a decision, fear of not being popular, is all demoralizing. It adds nothing to your experience. Realize that “they” will criticize, judge you, or ridicule you no matter what, so who cares?

Accept Goal Setting and Planning.  Clearly state your intention, desires and establish standards and practices. Ensure you have small steps in the plan to allow for immediate and quick accountability. Stick to it. “Becoming” can truly begin to happen once you have a plan with specific goals.

Accept that you can and should say “NO”. For women this is often hard. We are not being selfish, if we have to put someone off for a while. Nancy Reagan tried to teach us all to just say “NO” to drugs plus how many times have you had to tell him, “NO”!

I know “NO” is not easy but I can also testify now that I can and do, it is empowering. It is allowing ourselves to take responsibility for ourselves, our circumstances and our future directions.

  1. Practice Forgiveness

You can not create a state of “Becoming”, if you aren’t willing to let the former or current  realities go.This is a vital part of “becoming”. Not only forgiving others for perceived wrongs, and asking for forgiveness from those you may have hurt but also forgiving yourself.

It is then, and only then, that you can let go of anger, guilt, shame, or any other feeling limiting your growth. Let it go. Face forward, look upward and you get busy moving on.

To let go of past hurts, you need to make the conscious decision to take control of the situation. However, this can take time and practice. Be kind to yourself as you practice self care and love.

This is a vital part of “Becoming”. Not only forgiving others for perceived wrongs, and asking for forgiveness from those you may have hurt but also forgiving yourself.

It is then, and only then, that you can let go of anger, guilt, shame, or any other feeling limiting your growth. Let it go. Face forward, look upward and you get busy moving on.

To let go of past hurts, you need to make the conscious decision to take control of the situation. However, this can take time and practice. Be kind to yourself as your practice refocusing how you see the situation, and celebrate the small victories you have.

  1. Be Grateful

See the good in everything and everyone. Cherish beauty, kindness, love, and joy. I believe everyday should be Thanksgiving. I am constantly giving gratitude for all things including the lessons we sometimes don’t want or think we need.

Being grateful puts us in a better satte. One of bliss, joy and abundance. When you decide to adopt and commit to an attitude of gratitude, God listens and rewards you. Then you are free to be, in an atmosphere of abundance rather than lack and fear. Being grateful is a conscious and easily sustainable habit. Make it one of yours.

Photo by Snapwire on Pexels.com
  1. Realize Reactions Resonate

As one of my favorite quotes from Chuck Swindoll reminds us,  “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”

So begin by accepting the fact that you are  co-Creator. You are more than capable of choosing the right actions when pushed, promised or promoted. Accept Personal Responsibility.  In order to fully accept your reality, you must take ownership of any role you may have played, good or bad, in leading you to where you are.  When you do, then you can work on decisions for the next steps. 

Accept Your Mistakes. You can’t fix anything until you acknowledge you have a problem. Own all of it. Not just the challenges but also your strengths and success. Taking ownership of all your outcomes can teach you to do better, and that overcoming leads to a learning moment. 

Accept Power Over Your Fears. This too shall pass. Don’t worry, be happy. Do not embolden your attackers or critics, simply do what you know to be right. 

  1. Love Thy Self

Be free to love yourself. When you do, then you are free to love others. Be vulnerable. Opening yourself to growth. To me it seems the best way  to heal is by learning a lesson from the situation, then using it to be “Becoming”.  Channel your thoughts, intentions, desires and energies into focusing on growth and building that momentum that moves both forward and upward. 

Do not get stuck in the “coulda, woulda, shoulda” mentality. Hanging onto to what should have happened, what could have happened, or what you wished would have happened, give yourself motivation to get over it. Release it and heal. Or keep a grip on it and be paralyzed; immobilized by feelings of pain and bad memories. 

Be Kind To Yourself. We are all our own worst critics. Now is the best time to show yourself some kindness and compassion. Treat yourself like you would someone else. Nurture, be loving, and kind. The more you are able to let self-care become an automatic habitual response into your daily life, the more you are empowering yourself.

  1. Always Be “Becoming”

Let your emotions flow freely. Do not keep things bottled up. Burying your feelings not only causes the pain to  remain, oftentimes it can increase and have negative physical effects on our bodies ( and minds) as well.  You are not the only one who has ever been afraid to face a negative or painful emotion, just realize you need to do it. Face your fears, breathe and let them pass through you. Do not allow them to define you. .

Foster Your Loving Circle. Yes it is a simple sounding step, yet it is oh so powerful. Enlarging our circles of positive people helps to lighten your load, share the burdens and get you through a lot of pain. No one is an island. You can not live life alone. Therefore you should not expect yourself to overcome hurts alone either. 

Tell Yourself It’s Okay to Talk About “It”. When you’re dealing with painful emotions, it is important to allow yourself permission to talk about it.Some people are unable to release it, because they falsely believe they aren’t allowed to talk about it. Find a friend, pastor, support group or therapist who are patient and accepting.

Being free to be ourselves is definitely empowering and a very important step for one and all. As the New Seekers will elaborate upon in a moment,… 

“And you and me are free to be you and me

Every boy in this land grows to be his own man

In this land, every girl grows to be her own woman…”

Take my hand, come with me where the children are free

Come with me, take my hand, and we’ll run…..”

…  run along the path to “Becoming”. Where that will take us, is up to you. Now that you are free to be all you are intending to be “Becoming”.

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