“Becoming”: Worthy

Do you value yourself? Do you find yourself worthy of change, growth and “Becoming”? 

You should. If not; you’ll need to address why you do not feel that way. 

When we last spoke, I prayed that you are not playing a waiting game. I urged you to choose life. I mean truly make the choice to live it to your fullest, Begin by changing what you say about yourself and redefine the vision for your future.

You can not live in the trauma of your past or your circumstances nor the challenges of others and expect change to come. You are worthy of growth and “Becoming”.

If you are having trouble accepting that, then our discussion here on “Becoming Today” is definitely for you as we’ll examine how to accept your value. 

Much of “Becoming” involves embracing the need for change, it is the only way in which we can truly grow, develop and realize our potentials.  Life is a process. A repetitive one. We learn, grow, become then question, learn, grow and continue “Becoming”.

Accepting our strengths rather than empowering our perceived weaknesses, accepting our unlimited potential rather than self imposing limitations.

Our reality is one of always “Becoming”…. Restating our shared definition from Day One of this project:  ‘’the process of coming to be something or of passing into a state”. Coming to be always, “Becoming”. Growing, developing and shifting into an attitude and daily practice of always, “Becoming”.

That is quite simply the essence behind, “Becoming Today”.  Now getting there requires planning, action and growth plus accepting ourselves.

Each day I ask myself, how do I, as an individual and we as a society, focus on “Becoming” what we are truly destined to be? How do we become all we can be? How do we further enrich our lives and those of our families, friends, communities and society as a whole?  What exactly is it we want to become today? Each and every day, becoming the best at whatever we desire, hope for, have set goals for, prayed for  and how do we achieve this state? 

What exactly does it mean to accept yourself? To begin with you need to embrace the reality of your life.

Not your own version of reality, rather a hardcore assesment of wher you are nd where you want to be. You may need to overcome many things including regret, denial. Or past failures and disappointments. 

Yes we should practice positive self -talk but a true failure to connect with reality can not only be disheartening, but also sets us up for failure. In some cases it can also be quite dangerous, putting us at risk of hurting others as well as ourselves.

Here are the 8 steps of acceptance that I’ve learned along my path towards “Becoming”:  

1.  Accept Yourself. Embrace the ability to unconditionally love all aspects of who you are. Both the positive and negative.Do not become overly critical.  It all starts with the proper attitude.        
2. Accept that Accepting Reality is not the easiest thing to do. However acceptance of your current scenario will ultimately make you happier in the present , which then leads  to a better future. Accepting your reality will help you choose your steps properly and keep the momentum moving forward and upward.
3. Accept Truthful and Complete Honesty. When you get past your ego, then you can allow for the creation of  beautiful new you. Denial will not make the negative go away. 
4. Accept Personal Responsibility.  In order to fully accept your reality, you must take ownership of any role you may have played, good or bad, in leading you to where you are.  When you do, then you can work on decisions for the next steps.
5. Accept Your Mistakes. You can’t fix anything until you acknowledge you have a problem. Look at your mistakes not as failures but as learning opportunities. Reky on the power within for the strength to co-create your reality.
6. Accept  Ownership. Own all of it. Not just the challenges but also your strengths and success. Taking ownership of all your outcomes can teach you to do better, and that overcoming leads to a learning moment.
7. Accept Power Over Your Fears. Do not let fear rule. Fears of what others think of you, fear of making a decision, fear of not being popular, is all demoralizing. It adds nothing to your experience. Realize that “they” will criticize, judge you, or ridicule you no matter what, so who cares?
8. Accept Goal Setting and Planning.  Clearly state your intention, desires and establish standards and practices. Ensure you have small steps in the plan to allow for immediate and quick accountability. Stick to it. “Becoming” can truly begin to happen once you have a plan with specific goals.

Accepting yourself and believing that you are worthy is an integral part of growth. Improving your self esteem is about far more than just feeling good at the present moment.

Self-enhancement involves making a decision. You make the choice to have a  positive rather than negative self-view. 

As we’ve talked about previously, making a choice involves taking multiple steps. First to decide you want to do something. Then to focus on what change is necessary, then committing to it. Before you then take action to actually do it. Just a good intention or giving lip service to an idea, will not make it so. You have to complete the task, do all the hard work and then harvest the benefits. If you give up along the process then you will reap what you have sown.

Obviously I hope you are making the choices to improve or strengthen your positive self esteem. We know that negative self-esteem can impact every aspect  of your life, including relationships, jobs and your health.The good news is you can correct your false views of yourself, as the following steps borrowed from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy will outline. 

1. Identify Problem Areas

Think about the situations that deflate your self-esteem. Identify the triggers. Some examples include

• A crisis at work or home
• A challenge with a spouse, child or other loved one,
• A change in life circumstances, such as a job loss, a death of someone near and dear or a child making poor choices.

2. Pay Attention To Your Thoughts

We all are familiar with the quote, “cogito, ergo sum”. 

Not ringing a bell, well that’s probably because most of us don’t speak Latin and have probably heard Rene Descrtes (French Philosopher) words translated as  “I think, therefore I am”.

Once you’ve identified a disturbing situation, you especially need to pay attention to your thoughts. This includes self-talk and your interpretation of what the situation means. 

Ask yourself if this belief is true?  Would you say it to a friend? If not, then don’t say it to yourself.

3. Challenge Your Negative Thinking

Be aware that long-held thoughts and beliefs can feel normal and factual, even though they are not. Often these false perceptions are just opinions devoid of any truth.  Then make sure you are not getting involved in patterns of self delusion or accepting falsehoods as the truth.

Some of these patterns to avoid can be:

• All-or-nothing thinking. Do not say to yourself, If I don’t succeed in this task, I’m a complete failure and always will be.”
• Rejecting your achievements. Do not tell yourself they don’t count. Do not place false limits on yourself.
• Reaching a negative conclusion when evidence does not support it. For example, “They didn’t reply to me, so obviously I must have done something wrong.”
• Mistaking feelings for facts. Do not confuse feelings or beliefs as factual evidence. For example, “I feel like a loser, so I’ll always be a loser.”

4. Take Ownership of Your Thoughts

Rather than being overwhelmed by negativity, acknowledge its presence. 

Accept it, then shoes to empower yourself. Look at the reality and declare it will be no more. Work, take action thoughts or feelings to be “Becoming”:

• Take care of yourself.  Self care not only of the mind, but also the body and soul.
• Use Positive Affirming statements. Treat yourself lovingly and always be encouraging. Delaye you “can” and you “will”.
• Forgive yourself.  If you’ve made a mistake or are not on track to complete a goal, remember it’s not permanent. You need to readjust to move past that moment in time and create the next in abundance. 
• Do things you enjoy. Start by making a list of things you like to make a “can-do” list.  Things you can and are willing to do.. Try to do something from that list every day.
• Spend time with people who make you happy. Don’t waste time on negative or fake people.

Once you readjust your thoughts. Aligning them with your essential beliefs, then focusing on the positive is “Becoming” much easier.  Consider lessons learned. Plan to avoid falling into the same traps or diversions again. 

Reward yourself. Acknowledge gains made. Give yourself credit for positive changes. Do the work involved and you will feel better because positive self esteem will firmly take root. Then you should realize yes you are worthy. You have value and you add value to our shared journey of “Becoming”.

Submitted for your consideration these are not the final steps  along your path. You can not create a state of “Becoming”, if you aren’t willing to let the former or current  realities go and allow your worthiness to shine through.

So if you have not already done so, let me ask you this –  Will you commit to “Becoming Today? I’ll continue posting conversations six days a week, Monday through Saturday, so that we may share and become together in this year of 20/20 + 1.  Please comment below. I really am interested in hearing your questions, suggestions or concerns. You can also subscribe to be notified when new posts are available. 

If you want to remain a little less public with your queries, then I welcome you to contact me privately. Just click over to my Contact page. There you will find a form to easily submit private communications.