Sometimes You Gotta Give To Receive

Let’s embark upon a renewal of our discussion along this shared journey.  On this edition of Becoming Today we’ll discuss three things I believe every person on this planet not only wants but truly deserves. 

These elements are worthy of an acronym so let’s begin with three simple letters: C. D. R.

While these letters will quickly be expanded to three seemingly easily understood words, each of these expressions contain powerful actions and attitudes that assist greatly in our personal development. So much so that after revealing these key concepts we’ll spend a full day conversing about each of one of them.

C.D.R. stands for:




All are elements of common need and desire. It does not matter who you are, where you come from, nor what you have been – are – or will be going through; each and everyone of us truly desires to be treated with Compassion, Dignity and Respect. Plus beyond yearning for, we should feel inherently deserving  of them. 

The trouble for some is that in order to receive these basic harmonious elements of life, we must also be giving of them freely not only to others but also be treating ourselves with each.

Let’s begin with Compassion. Take a moment and think about what it means for you. 

It can be highly subjective. Did you answer being kind? Treating others with empathy? Or being respectful to ohers? All these answers arre partially correct, yet not quite. Plus are you beginning to see how the three concepts of C.D.R. immediately begin to work together?

In order to further our shared understanding let’s develop our definition 

Reaching over to my modern adaptation of a bookshelf, better described as opening another tab in my browser, and then clicking over to, we can learn their dictionary describes compassion as the “sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it”. 

An alternate source, the dictionary built into Gogle Docs offers this explanation: “sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others”. Similar yet not exactly he same and as we continue along you’ll see that I want to remove the word “pity” from our discussions. No pity parties here, nor we should we be viewing others through that distorted lens. 

Wikipedia offers this, “Compassion motivates people to go out of their way to help the physical, mental, or emotional pains of another and themselves”.

Three accounts with common traits, yet distinguishing differences. All speak of feeling and taking action. Yet they differ by their focuses of distress, pity, and pain. Similar yet each charged wth their own emotion sparking different response from each of us. 

Therefore I ask you to choose to accept this understanding that I have developed:

“Becoming compassionate is accepting the conscious process of showing kindness and sharing empathy with others, so that we may then decide to assist all those we can.”

Our definition of becoming compassionate involves a developing of skills, levels and achievement. It also makes compassion and active action. Something we must not only understand and accept, but must also decide to give and receive of freely.

In sharing compassion we do show kindness and empathy towards others ( and hopefully ourselves) though empathy is used descriptive of a whole range of emotions. The primary difference is empathy is when you can accept the emotions of another in a given situation, while compassion also includes the desire to take action to aid the individual. 

A widely stated adage expresses, 

A single act of compassion can change a person’s life forever.

Making it a very Becoming quality. Sharing compassion allows us to feel and assist. It motivates us to transform suffering, pain or injustice into healing, growth and change. 

I have found that compassion can be one of the most powerful forces in the world. It allows for judgement to be replaced with acceptance thus creating an atmosphere in which we can embrace diversity andbe welcoming towards all as equals regardless of any perceived distinctions.

As I stated earlier  each and every person on Earth truly wants compasion, and every human being is deserving of it. Giving compassion empowers inclusiveness allowing all of us to be more fully active and engaged in living.

So then how do we put compassion into our daily practices?

Becoming Today’s 8 – Steps For Compassion

  1. Sharing encouraging words.

Last week we spoke about choosing our words carefully and how to declare ourselves boldly, respectfully and confidently. More on that i available here for review or ICYMI. Just remember a simple, random kind word could be the motivation for someone to take the next step on their own journey towards Becoming Today.

  1. Performing Random Acts of Kindness.

Opening a door for someone. Helping that older woman in the grocery store reach something, phoning a friend who been experiencing challenges. All of these are examples of easy to doa ctions, that when practiced on compassion not only require much energy but will aslo bolster the mood, attitude and strengths of both the recipient nd the giver.

  1. Adopting An Attidtue of Gratitude.

Say thank you more often. To others, to God and even to ourselves. Treating each day as a time of thanksgiving leads to a more contented life. Research has revealed that by accepting the daily practice of giving thanks increases happiness by as much as 25 percent.

  1. Becoming A Better Listener

Often the best way to build, improve or repair a relationship is simply by listening. Making the effort to truly hear what others have or need to say builds bridges and opens doors.  Listen intently and sincerely. Be willing to learn how to listen longer. Are you still paying attention here? The research indicates you may not be. 

During this century the average attention span had been cut nearly in half.  Research suggests most of us are not paying attention for more than 8 seconds at a time. WOW! We all need to be becoming better listeners.  

  1. Learning To Advocate

Becoming an advocate involves being a person who speaks up for and defends the rights of others. You assist them with communicating their needs, often in those moments when “Life Happens”.  You help them to navigate through difficult situations and overcome challenges.

  1. Being Respectful Of Privacy

Never disclose anything about another’s situation without their permission. Don’t try to force responses from others. If they are nor ready or unwilling to share something, accept that and I have always found that in the proper time and place, people will share what you need to know to assist them. Be open to the fact hat they may not yet be ready (or willing)  to seek or accept help. 

  1. Performing A Service.

Volunteering connects you with others. It allow for positive experiences for  both the recipient and the volunteer.  It may give  you the opportunity to make new friends improve your social skills and is good for the soul .Volunteering can be a structured activity through an organization or church ans well as simply doing a favor for a neighbor. Look around, opportunities to be of service are everywhere.

  1. Challenging Yourself to SMILE More.

It is a medical fact that smiling releases endorphins, helping you to feel happier and more positive. A study by Scientific American  found that  smiling, improves mood and increase positive thoughts.You and all those around you will share the benefits. In addition seeing a smile makes others feel rewarded, more content and fulfilled.  So go ahead and show some teeth, a smile is a small, but mighty action that has a major impact on someone else. 

Summing up compassion involves having, experiencing and sharing a genuine sympathy for the hardships, troubles or circumstances of another. One of the primary things to remember about sharing compassion is that it comes from your heart. It must be sincere, honest and open. Look beyond your differences and be  accepting of others an they in turn may very well chose to do the same for you. 

Don’t forget that being compassionate begins with you being so, towards yourself.

Praise yourself for your successes and forgive yourself for your mistakes. Focus on your more Becoming qualities rather than areas where you know you have challenges. 

To begin this process accept personal responsibility. Embrace the ability to unconditionally love all aspects of who we are. Both the positive and negative. It all starts with the proper attitude. In order to fully accept your reality, you must take ownership of any role you may have played, good or bad, in leading you to where you are.  Make sure you are taking care of yourself. More on that tomorrow when we continue our discussion of C.D.R, continuing with the second element of Dignity.

As always I welcome your compassionate (or otherwise) comments below. If you are not comfortable with sharing publicly, feel free to reach out to me through the easy to use form on the Contact page. 


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