Before we can accelerate into our future, we need to carefully and thoughtfully put things in reverse for a moment, back up, and unload, so we can continue on with plenty of space for our new attitudes, understandings and development.
You can not create a state of “Becoming”, if you aren’t willing to let the former or current realities go. Letting go of the old is our shared focus now on “Becoming Today.”
It’s something we have all had to ask ourselves, multiple times. Some more than others, but nonetheless it is simply a part of the human condition.When we suffer emotional pain, how do you let go of the past and move on?
First you always need to accept that it is a conscious decision. One that involves taking action. Holding on to the past is just like letting go and moving forward you decide . It’s your choice. Once you make the decision then you take action to make it happen.
To me it seems the best way to heal is by learning a lesson from the situation, then using it to be “Becoming”. Channel your thoughts, intentions, desires and energies into focusing on growth and building that momentum that moves both forward and upward.
Do not get stuck in the “coulda, woulda, shoulda” mentality. Hanging onto what should have happened, what could have happened, or what you wished would have happened, give yourself motivation to get over it. Release it and heal. Or keep a grip on it and be paralyzed; immobilized by feelings of pain and bad memories.
If you are telling yourself you are ready to move on from a negative experience, but still are not sure how to get started, here are some steps to assist you in letting go…
- Develop Positive Self Talk
Those endless conversions that go on inside of you, and sometimes aloud when you think you’re alone are the starting line. How you talk to yourself can either help you move on or keep you bogged down.
One technique to improve your internal dialogue is to create a Reassuring, Reaffirming Mantra.
Instead of limiting yourself by thinking things like “Why me? Why did this happen to me!” Declare positive energy. Try something like, “I am so fortunate to be “Becoming”. Finding this new positive path in life is good for me.”
- Practice Mindfulness
The most important moment in our lives, is the one we are currently experiencing. Make the most of it. Focusing on the present moment, tlessens the possibilities for a negative impact that either the past or future can have on us
- Be Kind To Yourself
We are all our own worst critics. Now is the best time to show yourself some kindness and compassion. Treat yourself like you would someone else. Nurture, be loving, and kind. The more you are able to let self-care become an automatic habitual response into your daily life, the more you are empowering yourself. (You go girl!)
4. Let your emotions flow freely
Do not keep things bottled up. Burying your feelings not only causes the pain to remain, oftentimes it can increase and have negative physical effects on our bodies ( and minds) as well. You are not the only one who has ever been afraid to face a negative or painful emotion, just realize you need to do it. Face your fears, breathe and let them pass through you. Do not allow them to define you.
5. Foster Your Loving Circle
Yes it is a simple step, yet it is oh so powerful. Enlarging our circles of positive people helps to lighten your load, share the burdens and get you through a lot of pain.
No one is an island. You can not live life alone. Therefore you should not expect yourself to overcome hurts alone either.
6. Tell Yourself It’s Okay to Talk About “It”
When you’re dealing with painful emotions, it is important to allow yourself permission to talk about it.Some people are unable to release it, because they falsely believe they aren’t allowed to talk about it. Find a friend, pastor, support group or therapist who are patient and accepting.
7. Forgive and Forget
This is a vital part of “Becoming Today”. Not only forgiving others for perceived wrongs, and asking for forgiveness from those you may have hurt but also forgiving yourself.
It is then, and only then, that you can let go of anger, guilt, shame, or any other feeling limiting your growth. Let it go. Face forward, look upward and you get busy moving on.
To let go of past hurts, you need to make the conscious decision to take control of the situation. However, this can take time and practice. Be kind to yourself as your practice refocusing how you see the situation, and celebrate the small victories you have.
The following is a great video I’ve come across that addresses many of the issues in releasing our pasts. I have no affiliation with Fearless Soul, but they do have a great presentation here:
As always I welcome your questions and comments.
Until we speak again may you have an abundance of peace and love,