Another week has come and gone and I hope you are finding some relief from the sweltering heat. Here, we’re officially in a drought, have seen weeks of near all time record high temperatures and I wonder if we’re contributing by sharing plenty of hot air in our conversations? (LOL)
I hope not. Anyway it’s time to take a look back at the week that was around here on “Becoming Today”.
On Monday I shared in “Four Years After”, that “Suddenly, in an instant it all changed. My path. My life. My outlook. My health”.
I also introduced the term ‘biniversary’…Don’t worry you won’t find that word in the dictionary. So you have to trust me, I spelled it correctly, afterall I just made it up.
I call this day a biniversary because it marks two separate major changes in my life, the first that is now Four Years After and another which occurred one year ago.
While the two events differ greatly, they both were indeed “life-altering” and I’m glad for them.
Luckily last year’s event did not involve any blood loss, well not immediately at least it did prove to usher in a period of intense emotions, incredible healing and new ways of living.
They both also required something of me.
To “Fear Not”.
In inviting you to join me in marking these milestones, I spent the week prior, sharing some of the background details of what exactly happened to me one year ago. I won’t repeat them today, but if you care to, you can read about them here.
Also on last Saturday I shared some of the individual lessons learned and the results from that life altering journey I discovered myself on. You can find those discussions and links here.
As for what occurred four years ago, some of those details no longer matter and others I’m not ready to reveal, yet. Perhaps in the memoir, but they’ll have to be treated in a “ripped from the headlines” manner. You know when they say events and people are fictitious, but actually are a way of furthering shielding the truly guilty who manipulate loopholes to avoid their responsibilities.
Anyway perhaps you can sense why I’m still not ready to discuss all of that.
However I will share some of the lies I was told at the time. Not to point fingers rather in an effort to testify that “this too shall pass”.
On Tuesday we discussed being “Directed By Diligence”
This conversation is motivated by an expression we don’t hear too much.At least not unless I’m talking to myself…
“With due diligence….”
See.
When was the last time you heard it?
I know, right?
That’s why I thought we should talk about it.
After considering multiple dictionary and encyclopedic explanations, I merged, edited and inserted some “Ro-notations”, and…
What’s that?
Yes I made that word up.
A “Ro-notation” is an additional notation or takeaway created by me, Rochelle. So instead of an annotation I call it a “Ro-notation”.
Anyway let’s see what we can develop to improve our common comprehension of “due diligence” and being dedicated to it:
“Careful, dedicated, persistence with intent to take action for the higher good, for the benefit of all. It is with steadfast forbearance and patience that we commit to be dedicated to not only doing no harm, rather to also do all things virtuously, fully and regularly in faith”.
Or let me offer a simpler statement:
“Always work to ensure you are trying to do what is right. Be tenacious and purposeful about it and seek to be “Becoming” in all things”.
It definitely has promise towards our shared path. It demonstrates exceptional qualities in alignment with the :Essence of Becoming”…..
Still something was missing.
It wasn’t quite registering with me until I dropped the Bible on my foot.
Really I did. I was barefoot: it hurt.
I thought some words, may have actually said some aloud that I shouldn’t have and as I asked forgiveness I glanced at the page it had opened to.
The Gospel of Luke. Chapter 11.
Interesting Luke 11:9 is often quoted though seemingly always abbreviated. As it reads in the King James Version:
“And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you”.
Yes ask and ye shall receive. Most everyone has heard that though even shortened to the point that many don’t recall the Scripture making it a three part process.
Ask. Seek and Knock.
Ask your question.
Seek, actively look for a response.
And knock. Make the decision to take action. Yes God can, and does open doors for us, but first you have to knock and then “it shall be opened unto you”.
Good reminder. However it still wasn’t quite what I was seeking.
Then I continued onto verse 10.
Hmm something was calling to me, but perhaps I was still distracted by my throbbing toe.
So as I got up to ‘walk it off’, I passed a book shelf and not fearing another episode of clumsiness I dared to pick up another Bible. The Passion Translation.
There I stood and paged through to Luke 11, verses 9- 10.
WoW! It suddenly became clear. Here is one word I was missing for my comprehension of being tenacious on purpose. One word repeated multiple times in this verse, so you know it has to be important.
Let’s read together:
“So it is with your prayers. Ask and you’ll receive. Seek and you’ll discover. Knock on heaven’s door, and it will one day open for you. Every persistent person will receive what he asks for. Every persistent seeker will discover what he needs. And everyone who knocks persistently will one day find an open door.”
Did you notice the word that had reached out from the page and grabbed me?
I hope so I used a different color, made the font bold and italicized it, to grab the attention of the page skimmers among us, lol.
Yes, that was it.
Persistence is what I was looking for, and apparently so is God.
On Wednesday we are continuing our ongoing search and rescue mission for wisdom. This week it was titled “Wisdom = Life”.
In undertaking a study of Proverbs chapter 18, I noted, everyday it seems we find more and more people who need to consider verse two of today’s reading. “Senseless people find no pleasure in acquiring true wisdom, for all they want to do is impress you with what they know.”
Constantly we are bombarded with messages from self-proclaimed experts who want to fill our heads with their so-called beliefs, whether or not they actually believe them.
As the same verse is translated in the N I V, “Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions”.
Too often the talking heads are just spouting off for a ratings point, a click, another faceless follower or a random thumbs up irregardless of what the potential impacts of their rants may be.
It’s our responsibility to be aware of that and remain vigilant. To guard our minds and hearts from their manipulative, divisive chatter and focus on true enlightening wisdom. It’s our choice what we choose to accept or not, so we need to make our choices wisely.
Thursday we shared a conversation called, “Detaching Lovingly”.
I’ve mentioned that sometimes I struggle with concepts that just seem to get stuck in my head. So how to get them out of there or release them all together? Today’s phrase deals with that very issue.
While the essence of “Becoming” involves enlarging our circle, reaching out to one another and aiding those we can, the reality is there are times in life we must detach ourselves from certain people, places, things and even ideas. Now this does not have to be harsh and should not be done cruelly.
While I certainly have been no stranger to the theory of “Tough Love” popularized by Leo Buscaglia, I think too often there is a wrong emphasis, with too much attention put on the being tough aspect. I know at times in my life I have certainly been guilty of that. Admittedly it may have helped for a mere moment but the fallout or repercussions in some cases have taken years to overcome. Impacting not only others, but my own self healing and personal development. Those are lessons I do not want to repeat.
I understand there are times when this theory is very effective and can even be life saving, however it’s important to keep the emphasis on the Love part and while realizing the need to let go and overcome adverse situations, being tough in an uncompromising manner is not the key.
That’s why I’ve grown to understand and better embrace the idea of Lovingly Detaching.
While both Tough Love and Lovingly Detaching require us to remain steadfast, strong and forbearance, or sticking to our principles and beliefs, detaching is less harsh. We cannot force anyone to take personal responsibility, nor should we try to take on the management of their actions, rather we must learn to love within wise choices rather than simply be reactionary with emotional responses.
It is far more compassionate to love from a distance rather than allowing ourselves and loved ones to spiral down together.
Learning to love while at times disengaging from being reactionary allows us not only to protect ourselves but help foster the emotional and at times physical health of the others involved. We all must deal with our own consequences, the result of our actions, decisions, attitudes and beliefs. So why not make it so we are celebrating the outcomes rather than trying to repair, overcome or run away from?
Yesterday I posed a question for you.
We say we are ready for things. Ready for things to get better. Desiring for more. Even claiming to be ready for change. But are we really?
What does it mean to be ready?
A simple definition of ready is ‘in a suitable state for an activity, action, or situation; fully prepared’.
So to truly be ready, first you need to be ‘fully prepared”.
Prepared is explained by these separate but simultaneously required explanations:
-made ready for use.
-ready to do or deal with something.
And fully means completely, entirely, 100-percent, to the furthest extent, without reservation. For purposes of our conversation that would be altogether committed without reservation to the idea of being ready.
So pulling it all together for our common understanding to be ready is to put yourself in a suitable state to take action without reservation to achieve a goal, outcome or result.
Are you prepared for that?
Then get ready to deal with some steps to ensuring you are remaining on the path to your desired “Becoming”.
In ensuring you are fully prepared for the effort that lies ahead in readying yourself for whatever your specific “it” is, you need to ask yourself another question.
Are You Ready To Accept Change?
Whoa… wait a minute let me turn the volume down, I was just blown away as I heard nearly 14-thousand of you scream YES!!!!… in unison.
However, while I appreciate your zeal, you need to pause for a minute.
Are you truly ready for this step?
It takes more than a willingness or a desire, it requires genuine work to ensure that you are open to accepting.
Realize first you don’t always get what you think you want, but if you try sometimes, you might just get what you need.
In learning how to accept we are “Becoming” able to live a life with gratitude.
That simple act of true humility is pleasing to God. Accepting of child-like trust, to receive without the burdens of judgment shows we are evolving. “Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.“ (Matthew 18:3-4 BSB)
Even for those with this knowledge and many who not only know but have understood it as a belief, still accepting help can be uncomfortable. However remember there is no shame in asking for help nor freely accepting it. Giving and receiving are an integral part of life.
While a majority of people genuinely enjoy lending others a helping hand, for many it remains tough to be on the receiving end.
While we know it feels good to support others through acts of kindness there are a few reasons why it remains uncomfortable to embrace the acceptance of the same kind of assistance.
These include a fear of being vulnerable, having a feeling of unworthiness and those who continue to hold onto shame. Accepting help does not make you weak nor is it a sign that you have failed in some way. If someone is struggling with low self-esteem, they are more than likely also dealing with past beliefs tied to shame or feeling guilty.
As I typed this last paragraph I think those are topics we’ll need to address in depth in a future visit, but for now let’s accept that shame and guilt are unnecessary, unhealthy emotions. Furthermore in regards to our conversation today, you can begin to release them by simply saying, “yes”. Yes I can. Yes, I will accept your help. It truly can set you free.
Yes it was a busy week around here and just like the sweltering heat, our forecast calls for more loving compassionate conversation around here. Have a safe and blessed weekend, keep cool and come Monday join us again for our next edition of “Becoming Today”.
Becoming Today with Rochelle Jeanette 