Lenten Letters: Hesitation

Even now as I attempt to begin this conversation, I find myself hesitating. So with further delay, let’s get things underway on this edition of “Becoming Today”.

Over the past two weeks, I’ve been writing a letter a day in an attempt to give things up for Lent. It’s an exercise I decided to try and develop as I seek answers to some situations that have bogged me down for a while now.

While some celebrate Lent and others do not, the intention behind the season is to recognize the sacrifices that Jesus made, during his 40-days in the desert leading up to his crucifixion. In an attempt to become more Christ-like, the period is used to help individuals recognize the importance of self discipline and sacrifice.

While not outlined in the Bible, the concept does draw on Scriptural principles including:

Colossians 3:8

But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.

And Ephesians 4:31

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.

Getting rid, giving up and releasing are all terms we can interchange to describe the reflective and penitent action we can take during this time. While generally people will focus on one item, I have held myself to a standard of one issue per day. This is in an attempt to not only heal and help myself, but also to aid in shining a light in many directions to potentially assist you as well.

I hope these exercises so far have been helpful and now again I need to stop hesitating and get to today’s letter…

Dear Rochelle,

I’ve been holding off a little about starting this discussion with you. It seems symptomatic of the issue I’m needing to address. 

Hesitation. I keep hesitating, delaying, wavering, remaining at times complacent. I try to rationalize it as being held in place or waiting for the right moment, yet I realize those are closer to excuses than they are reasons.

Why am I hesitant? Why am I delaying action? Sometimes even simple ones. I’ve reflected recently  on procrastination, but that’s not at the core of this rather it’s a symptom. 

What is causing me to be so uncertain, unsure or tentative about taking action? 

It’s more than dilly-dallying, it is becoming more than a delay, nearing a dilemma.

I’m not lost in a paralysis of inactivity, I just keep finding myself addressing things in perhaps a less than productive order.

It seems I am beginning to recognize that my hesitation is a form of resistance.

I am opting to slow down and avoid things rather than complying with what I know needs to be addressed. Is my disinclination a symptom of my avoidance of something deeper?

So what is it that I am resisting? I understand I can overcome hesitation if I stop fighting what is at the root of the matter. But what exactly is that?

I appreciate any insights you may have on the matter. Helping to shine a light on it I know can only be beneficial.

Hope we can come to an agreement on this,… soon.



As you can see this process is developing and becoming in its own way, each day. Just as we should all be thriving towards. 

So far over the past few weeks, we’ve spent time together “Illuminating Lent”, and I’ve addressed a wide variety of concepts, issues and situations. Some I’m still working on, others I’m making significant progress with.

Among the things I’ve “given up” so far are “Releasing” and “Guilt and Shame”. I have been actively “Seeking Peace”, struggled with “Self Criticism”, dealt with “Comparing”, “Clouded Vision”, “Procrastination”, “False Beliefs”, “Discouragement” and now “Hesitation”.

I hope this day, weekend and season are finding you well. I pray that your own individual path of becoming is progressing. That you are developing and learning, then implementing those lessons.

Again I’ll offer you the opportunity to take part in your own exercise.

You can share your thoughts and suggestions in the comments section. Which if you’re on the website follows below. Or if you’re a daily subscriber, you can click on the headline at the beginning of the conversation and be taken there.

Also if you’d like to raise questions or share in a less public manner, you can always send a message through our Contact page. 

Think about it. Pray about it. Meditate on it. Consider it and take some time to enjoy yourself. Then decide , come Monday, to join us for our next edition of “Becoming Today”.


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