More than a few years ago, Jimmy Buffet came to a realization. I can hear his thoughts ringing in my head today as I recall, “some people claim there’s a woman to blame, but I know it’s my own damn fault….”
You know what? When it comes to today’s conversation, I’m accepting that it is my fault and that yes I am the woman to blame too. I’ll explain on this edition of “Becoming Today”.
While there’s not any booze in the blender nor have I stepped on a pop top and blown out my flip flop, I have felt as of late I’ve been wasting away, searching for my lost sense of direction.
So what do I need to ‘give up’ to get back to moving on?…
Today I am coming to you with a specific request. I realize I make mistakes. I understand that you expect me too, however I also know we can linger too long. So how do I stop myself from self sabotaging?
Over the past few weeks, my reflections and studies of these “Lenten Letters” and the responses received have been shining the light on some hidden issues I now have to address.
I am recognizing that these harmful patterns I find myself in are a result of allowing my self esteem to take some hits, combining with being my own worst critic.
I want to overcome these negative behaviors, but through the fog, my vision is clouded and I am not at this moment seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
I have successfully dealt with some related concerns including impatience, procrastination and hesitations caused by allowing emotions to discourage me.
However I am questioning whether the root of the interconnectedness lies deeper? Perhaps in some residual anger?
I am uncertain how to proceed. What is the next step I need to take?
I am working diligently towards keeping my mind from leading me towards anxiety, so I now, following your instruction, am casting my uncertainties upon you. Surrendering them. Releasing them and in asking I know I will receive the insights and guidance necessary for a time such as this.
For I believe not to worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Thank you for your help.
I remain your humble and obedient servant in Jesus’ name. Amen.
As I await answers to my prayer I realize much of today’s conundrum involves my mind and heart opposing one another in the battle over emotions.
It’s something we have all had to ask ourselves, multiple times. Some more than others, but nonetheless it is simply a part of the human condition.When we suffer emotional pain, how do you let go of the past and move on?
First you need to accept that it is a conscious decision. One that involves taking action. Holding on to the past is just like letting go and moving forward. You decide . It’s your choice. Once you make the decision then you take action to make it happen.
To me it seems the best way to heal is by learning a lesson from the situation, then using it to be “Becoming”. Channel your thoughts, intentions, desires and energies into focusing on growth and building that momentum that moves both forward and upward.
Do not get stuck in the “coulda, woulda, shoulda” mentality. Hanging onto what should have happened, what could have happened, or what you wished would have happened, give yourself motivation to get over it. Release it and heal. Or keep a grip on it and be paralyzed; immobilized by feelings of pain and bad memories.
….Not only forgiving others for perceived wrongs, and asking for forgiveness from those you may have hurt but also forgiving yourself.
It is then, and only then, that you can let go of anger, guilt, shame, or any other feeling limiting your growth. Let it go. Face forward, look upward and you get busy moving on.
To let go of past hurts, you need to make the conscious decision to take control of the situation. However, this can take time and practice. Be kind to yourself as your practice refocuses how you see the situation, and celebrate the small victories you have.
I am continuing to encourage you to consider doing your own Lenten Letters exercise. Just because I am doing them daily, you don’t need to, just set your own standards and goals for the frequency.
You could also opt to share your thoughts and suggestions in the comments section. Or if you’d like to raise questions or share in a less public manner, you can always send a message through our Contact page.
Think about it. Pray about it. Meditate on it. Consider it and then decide to join us for another in our ongoing series of life lessons in real time, tomorrow on our next edition of “Becoming Today”.
2 thoughts on “Stopping Self Sabotage”
One of the things that works for self-sabotage is forgiving yourself, completely. Then you can tell it to leave you in the name of Jesus. Too often we kick ourselves way too long. Let it go and let the love of God fill you. I have struggled with this issue for a long time and recently got free by doing this. Another thing, renew your mind by filling it with what the Word of God says about you. Psalm 139 is a good one with which to start.
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Hello, thank you for your comment and insights. “Forgiving yourself completely”- yes this is something I have struggled with throughout my life. In fact it is what led me to recognizing the need to undertake this exercise. In bringing these issues into the Light, only then can we see clearly the path forward, the next step in our own individual paths of “Becoming”. I also appreciate your suggestion of Psalm 139 as it’s closing verses ( 23-24) are really striking a responsive chord in me today. As it is written in the New Living Translation, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life. Thank you again and I pray you are having a Blessed day.