Malaise

I’m sorry for the overly positive headline today… well maybe not, but it is an honest straight to the point summation of the observation I’ve been making about the overall condition my condition has been in the past few days.

Not very Becoming I admit, but truthful. 

So as we progress together in this “Lenten Letter” exercise I am seeking to let go of this malaise and find some answers on this edition of “Becoming Today”.

Dear Rochelle,

I find myself awash in a malaise. Sub-par; less than average. Not at all where I want to be.

Isn’t it ironic that you are asked to be the strongest when you feel the weakest?

As I am struggling with my inability to perform some day to day tasks, I have no choice but to reflect on why I may be going through this. I really don’t have the answers and probably never will  have them all, but certainly I know to overcome them, it will take time plus trust.

Why am I trying  so hard to do these things? I needed to release my perceived responsibilities and focus on why are you thinking what you think? 

I need to release all that feels toxic or substandard or of minimal importance in the grand scheme of things. Somehow, in some way, this is an opportunity to fortify my internal world and focus on my inner resilience. For I know my Faith will again overcome this time of bleakness as it has so many times in the past.

Being caught up in feeling sorry or considering myself worthless at the moment will not help. I have to shift my focus and fight to open my eyes and lift them above.

Prayer. It can strengthen me and enable me to endure. Abiding by this principle I realize that this time is something I needed to undergo. I must suffer patiently, living through this experience in obedience to remaining stable.

As it is written in John 15 verse 7, “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you”.

It was in response to my calls for guidance and understanding that everything I believed was hindering me, was actually there as a way of lifting me up, of healing me, of giving me the strength to roll away the stone of this tomb I pictured myself in.

So I did.

Yes it will still take a few days for me to steady myself, regain my strength and clear my vision. 

It is during our  darkest moments we must focus to see the light. 

However I have received some personal revelation knowledge, which I will share with you now, as well as my prayerful response that followed:

You are like the butterfly struggling to escape its cocoon.

Relax. Strengthen. When the time is right, you will take flight!

Multiply your talents.

Have an expectancy of Hope while living in faith this day.

Do not over focus on the return. 

Live the Now.

Make the most of each day for the season you are in.

It is winter. 

You are in a period of dormancy; nurturing to Spring forth and blossom anew.

Invest in your excellence. Always remembering: 

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; 

Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false.

Though it linger, wait for it; iIt will certainly come and will not delay.

Pause…

Reflect.

Wait on the TRUTH, not the bustle of society. 

Do not wait for people to tap or nudge you.

Listen within. You will KNOW what to do.

God’s timing is never slow or late. 

It is okay to ask for encouragement. You have not, because you ask not.

Ask to be given a glimpse of your Promise fulfilling. 

It will be granted, but you must ask. Ask for and receive your glimmer of Hope today.

I scribbled the above in my journal and then after taking a moment to allow it all to sink in, drafted this reply:

Thank you Lord for assisting and guiding me. I appreciate your support, assistance and love and I am humbly and obediently accepting and welcoming it. 

Each day I invite you into my life. Today, I ask that you encourage me. Affirm me in my faith. Help me to see what I must embrace, accept   and act upon to continue always being “Becoming”. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen!

I hope these words can continue to foster encouragement as I continue to seek the answers I need.

Thanks for listening,

Rochelle

I want to share that I am feeling confident in saying that I am making progress. My releasing so far has been achieving results.

Remember,  as I’ve noted throughout this process, your participation is always welcomed, sincerely appreciated and truly desired.

Think about it. Pray about it. Meditate on it. Consider it and take some time to enjoy yourself. Then decide to join us tomorrow for our next edition of “Becoming Today”.