Other’s Expectations

Continuing on with my personal examination of this Lenten season, this letter is addressed to “They”. Why? Because I have some things to say to “them”.

Releasing myself from the expectations of others, is the focus of this edition of “Becoming Today”.

Hello “They”,

I have had enough. I am saying no more! I honestly am no longer willing to accept your badgering, belittling, bullying, labeling and threatening.

I have no room for it in my life. I will not listen to it anymore.

Oh I know you believe you are so right about everything, but your prideful arrogance has no place in my sphere and I will not let it poison me.

I know you are seemingly everywhere trying to confront everyone with your–”They” say this, “They” want that,  “They” tell you  what “They” believe you should or should not do, “They” amplify their voices about what “They “ oppose and “They” insist you are going about it all wrong. 

Even though “They” are vocal, make a lot of noise and seem to always have something to say about us, our beliefs or desires, do any of us really know who “They” are.

So my first reaction when I get hit with a ‘well “They” say… is to  respond ; often a bit too passionately… 

I don’t care!  

Anyway, who are “They”? 

And maybe “They” need to be more concerned about themselves. 

Then when I regain my composure I get back to our focus for today on who Are “They”? And why I’m giving you up for Lent and beyond.

Life has revealed to me many times over that “They” are often a special interest group, some kind of extremist or a vocal minority. 

If these are the cases you really need to consider your sources. If “They” are without you asking for their opinion feeling obliged to not so gently correct your beliefs, philosophies or attitudes, you may need to see who “They” really are. 

Too many times in recent history we see individuals and groups claiming they are one thing, when really they aren’t . In fact many “They” can be motivated by the complete opposite of who they are allegedly standing up for or  trying to “help”. 

We see this regularly. Groups that claim to be Christians that publicly encourage violence against others. Organizations that in the name of religion organize terror attacks against differing beliefs and elected officials who despite affirming oaths do anything but serve the public interest.

These are all examples of some of those blood boiling times when I want to scream, I don’t care!  Anyway, who are “They”? And maybe “They” need to be more concerned about themselves.

But when I step aside from my emotions, I realize I do care. We do need to be concerned not only to protect ourselves  but also to offer level headed responses for others to understand something is amiss with the claims of “They”.

Then there are “They” who we do know. People in our own circles who suddenly may come against us. Loved ones who try to prevent our forward momentum, even family members who are well intentioned, but perhaps are less motivated to be Becoming than we are. 

Our reality is one of always being “Becoming”…. Restating our shared definition from Day One of this project:  ‘’the process of coming to be something or of passing into a state”. Coming to be always, “Becoming”. Growing, developing and shifting into an attitude and daily practice of always, “Becoming”.

That is quite simply the essence behind, “Becoming Today”.  Now getting there requires planning, action and growth plus accepting ourselves.

Each day I ask myself, how do I, as an individual and we as a society, focus on “Becoming” what we are truly destined to be? 

How do we become all we can be? 

How do we further enrich our lives and those of our families, friends, communities and society as a whole?  

What exactly is it we want to become today? 

Each and every day, becoming the best at whatever we desire, hope for, have set goals for, prayed for  and how do we achieve this state?  

Notice there are no “They”. There is no need. Therefore I am releasing them. I am done. I  am giving up any hold their labels or attacks may have held over me.

I am free from their pettiness and confident that in the eventual supremacy of reason “they” can be seen for what “they” truly are.

That’s my observation. Judgment will come later for “them”. In the meantime I am free to continue becoming all I can be as I was created to be.

So, so long “They”. No need to reply, I’m not listening anymore. 


Throughout these past several weeks I have learned the connections between many of the issues that I have addressed, seeking to give them up. 

Many have been tied to long term issues, conditions that have existed through many seasons of life and have been continuing to pervert my development.

Yes it is true we are products of our past, however we are not prisoners of it.

We are not condemned. We shall not be labeled. 

We should be accepted and loved for the unique individuals that God created us to be. No two are exactly alike, gifted with free will and the ability to learn, grow and become for ourselves at our own pace in His ways.

We are shaped by both the good and bad, yet we can still choose to be free. Indeed it is a decision. So I am deciding to hit the reset button and live forward, changing incrementally as we continue towards that Resurrection day.

You can too. I am again encouraging you to consider doing your own exercise. Whether in a journal, a document, video diary or scribbled on the back of  a receipt just select whatever form you feel most comfortable with.  Plus just because I’ll be doing them daily, you don’t need to, just set your own standards and goals as for the frequency.

You could also opt  to share your thoughts and suggestions in the comments section.

Think about it. Pray about it. Meditate on it. Consider it and then decide to join us for another Lenten Letter, tomorrow on our next edition of “Becoming Today”.


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