Dwelling No More

Dwelling on the past is a destructive habit that can prevent us from moving forward with our lives. It can lead to feelings of regret, shame, guilt and make us feel like we are stuck in a rut, unable to change or grow.

Our “Lenten Letter” focuses on giving up the need to relive the past on this edition of “Becoming Today”.

Hey Rochelle,

I know you’ve talked about this many times, but I think a reminder might be necessary. In my case it’s not so much me, but others, while well-intentioned, that seem to be determined to try and force me to hyper focus on the past.

It’s not healthy and I want no part of it. 

There are many reasons why counselors say we should not dwell on our past. 

First, it is important to remember that was then, this is now. We cannot change what has happened, no matter how much we wish we could. Dwelling on the past only serves to make us feel bad about ourselves and our lives.

Second, it can prevent us from living in the present moment. When we are constantly thinking about the past, we are not able to fully appreciate the present. This can lead to feelings of anxiety and stress.

Third, it really does not help us plan for the future. When we are looking over our shoulder all the time, we are not able to think about what we want to achieve in the future. This can cause feelings of stagnation and hopelessness.

The good news is this is a habit that can be broken. 

Allow yourself to feel your emotions. Bottling up your emotions will only make it harder to let go.

Forgive yourself and others. Forgiveness is essential for letting go of the past.

Focus on the present. The present is the only time that you have control over. Yesterday is done and tomorrow will have worries sufficient of its own.

Live your life with intention. Make choices that are in line with your values and help you to create the future that you want.

Letting go of the past is not easy, but it is possible. Now if I can just convince them of that.

Let me know what you think, thanks,


If you find yourself dwelling, pay attention to your surroundings and what you are doing right now. Refocusing offers a fresh perspective allowing you to appreciate the present and to let go of the past.

Then try to forgive yourself for your mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes, and for me self- forgiveness has always been a challenge. However when I do I know I can move on.

And set goals for the future. Having something to look forward to can help you to focus forward. After all, that’s what we’re looking towards isn’t it? 

Think about it. Pray about it. Meditate on it. Consider it and then decide to join us tomorrow for our next edition of “Becoming Today”. 


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